*Sigh* was pretty angry just now - over old and still-festering hurts that suddenly overwhelmed me. Good thing I channelled the feelings into a poem and after a while, it sorta went away. Have done this a number of times, sometimes really to record the good times as well as the bad. Getting it out really is therapeutic. Guess I officially have a hidey-hole of poetry. Heh.

Well, it is back to work tomorrow and I am currently in my room - alternating between cleaning it and making like a slug. Bluuuuump....

Oily green, soon to-be-dusty fingers

More indulgence in my hopeful hobbies today.

1. Fourth try at tamagoyaki resulted in a slightly sweet normal-egg tasting version. Have decided the only thing I don't like more than dashi stock in my tamagoyaki is crabstick.

2. Also did some green-fingering (though they wound up brown anyway)
- planted 11 small pots of cherry tomatos seeds. (Although the weather is a little too chilly...)
- transplanted my keep-in-office houseplant into two pots - one twin isn't doing too well unfortunately - and also a new cute cactus from Ikea.

Am now cleaning out my room. The behemoth project started a few months back so that I could have some arts and craft space on my table (which quickly got obscured again with my mags and other junk), has gone on from throwing out junk stage, to packing good junk to give away stage. Wish me luck.

Ade Bags New Rags

On the subject of clothes:

- Adeline doesn’t shop, she buys
- Her best clothes-buys are invariably made in two minutes, four minutes if you include trying
- Adeline’s alliterative guide for clothing acquisitions
1. Friendly towards different functions
2. Friendly towards financial funds
3. Fits (duh)
4. Funky-but-not-too-loud design (i.e. Adeline’s world of fashion)
5. Fulsome frills and spaghetti-straps a no-no, worse if they come together!

Sigh, my feet are tired but it was a good trip nonetheless. Managed to get an item which is ok for the office and also Chinese New Year visits, two fitting cardigans with singlets inside, and a nice office shirt and skirt combo, with the skirt looking good for black-stocking-ed evenings. Think I am finally getting this fashion thing – the key is probably to know your style and what you like, rather than following trends.

Mindstroll No. 1326

Well, this is one of those ruminative, “Oh I am cast adrift in life!” mind pukes that occur literally at Three AM in the Morning, when the whole week’s leave ahead allows one a breath in Mad Whirly Life. Also, of course, when one’s three notches from reaching the big Three-Oh. Sigh, why am I not surprised that the number three has unconsciously slipped in again- like the trail of ants on white kitchen tiles that one just notices suddenly. Mebbe something big will happen when I turn thirty, hah!

So succumbing to this choke-holding urge to vent, here I am, well Not-Me actually. This is the real Not-Me, finally back to take stock of where Adeline is going – or not going really. (Yeech, even the name looks foreign…)

I think my last mind-stroll was around November, November last year when I decides to solidify my plans to have a multi-media portfolio – even as a hobby. My cynical-idealistic years at Uni have imparted to me a rather nerdy-techie image of myself. Not a gadget-workshipper, but someone with the times at least. Someone visual and practical, who understands functionality and human habits. A planner.

Sad to say, my quest towards multimedia self-imagehood is currently a sketchbook-rapidly-turn-notebook-for-various-hobbies, a quarter-formed 3D city, and the occasional urge to read up on city-planning.

I got a chance to participate in a Secret Santa game in the workplace, and leaped rapaciously on the arts and craft aspect, relishing the mind-gnawing design problem, once in a while stepping back to look at the layers to my gifts and intentions.

Recently, it is bento-making – or the whole idea of having a balanced, environmentally-friendly and healthy lifestyle. After my third tamagoyaki experiment – none of them failed, mind you, they just didn’t quite fly – I’ve suddenly gotten a better idea of the distance I am from my self-imagined idea of how a bento-making twenty-something should be.

And once again, I am adrift.

Am I too inconsistent, unable to commit to anything? Still holding out for that One Big Thing – the one thing I want to be that I can spend the rest of my years on it?

I’ve always been rather laidback (if sometimes really wound-up) in life – I don’t believe in holding onto grudges (the really self-destructive ones at least), and try my best not to be rude or malicious – even though witty evil commentary is the favourite in my arsenal. In fact, I believe it is all up to His Will where I go or become. But it absolutely smacks of apathy and cowardice because it seems so easy to do. Or is it others are wrong to cling to ambition, money and power?

*yawn*